Saying goodbye is never easy
I want to share something with you that is very heavy on my heart. This is a sad, but very real post that I wanted to open up about because it is a part of life and an experience that is very raw for me right now. A few days ago, we had to say goodbye to one of our cats. I remember as a child, this was always a sad thing to have to experience, but as an adult making that decision is even harder. Nine years ago, I had five cats, Kahlua, Razz, Jami, Pooter, and Goose. When Austin, my almost nine year old son was about four months old, we lost our first one. Jami, the youngest, who was only three years old, went to sleep and didn't wake up. I remember at the time being so angry and confused because she never acted sick, we had no idea anything was wrong. Eight years later, and losing three more cats, I know now Jami had the right idea. She took the guilt you feel every time you have to make that choice away. Each loss after Jami brought such heartbreak watching a family member that you love suffer, but selfishly not wanting to say goodbye. Feeling like saying goodbye means you are giving up on them. Since Jami we have had to say goodbye to Kahlua, Pooter (Gooses mom), and most recently Goose. It tears you apart, and in all honesty, and doesn't get easier. This time came with a child who was old enough to be apart of the decision and knew what was going on. Having to say goodbye to a loved one never is easy, no one ever wants to do it. But to make it even harder, having to explain to an eight year old boy who loves animals, we need to think of Goose and not ourselves. We want her to be at peace.
In yoga we talk about letting go, to let go of attachments. To not fear death. Yoga is forever a practice. We are all human and never want to say goodbye to someone we love. So I am working my way through the sadness, knowing that Goose is at peace and no longer in pain. A friend shared something about grief, that resonated with me, so I am going to share with you. Grief, is just love, with no place to go. All of the loss teaches us to embrace life, to be present, live in each moment and to love fearlessly.